For real, though.

Yes, it’s as fancy, complicated, and mind-bogglingly time-consuming as it looks.

But it was worth it.

Later, I’ll tell you how I did it.

For now, I just want you to drool. Even if you don’t have to eat gluten-free.

Lisa Fischer being adorable.

For the record: Lisa Gibson Fischer is adorable.

Though she is mostly known in central Arkansas as the effervescent co-host of B98.5′s morning radio show, Fischer is also an excellent cook, hosting the “Made from Scratch” series entry focusing on Indian cuisine at the Rockefeller Institute in Morrilton earlier this month.

I felt a little strange cheating on my homies over at Pulaski Tech, but this was subject matter I hadn’t learned yet. I had wanted to take International Cuisine this semester, but it didn’t fit into my mommy-schedule. I also wanted to check out the new Rockefeller Institute, a stunning educational and meeting facility seated atop Petit Jean Mountain. With culinary education all the rage these days, they built a lovely teaching kitchen, with a stadium-seating lecture hall alongside a small hands-on lab area.

In the class, we started off with naan bread (a puffy, yeasted flatbread), a chicken coconut curry soup, and a mango lassi (mango puree with yogurt).

Shall I interject: I have been SO good lately with the gluten-free thing. But this day…there was just something about making bread. I hadn’t made yeast bread of any sort since going GF. I. Couldn’t. Resist.

Another participant's lovely naan and coconut soup.

I ate at least one whole naan, maybe more. It was in pieces, to feed my self-deception that I would only eat a bite. So, by the time we’re working on the next dishes, my eyes are puffy, I’m exhausted, and my muscles, which have avoided significant pain for several months now, started to cramp and seize.

Sheesh.

Anywho, it was probably worth it. The naan is DELISH. (See below for my gluten-free version.)

While I sank into glutenized stupor, we made Saag Paneer and Coconut Shrimp Curry, both surprisingly mild and delicious.

Surprise bonus: My seating neighbor and lab partner just so happened to be Dr. Meenakshi Budhraja, a gastroenterologist who is on the cutting edge of all things relating to food and/as medicine. She and I have tried for months to get together to finish a journal article we’re co-writing on the topic, and our schedules haven’t jelled. More on that another day.

I could go on about all the details of the event, but I’ll just say you should sign up for (1) Lisa’s “repeat” coming up at KitchenCo with the same recipes, and (2) anything at the Rockefeller Institute. It’s a stellar facility with a fantastic staff, culinary and otherwise.

Back to the naan. After driving 45 minutes or so home in a glutened haze, I knew I had to come up with a gluten-free version. As of yet, I had only stockpiled GF flours, hoping to one day have the time to play. I made the time when I got home.

Enjoy!
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Gluten Free Naan Bread 
(Inspired by Bread in Five)

• 160g brown rice flour
• 110g sorghum flour
• 255g potato starch
• 1 T. yeast
• 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1 T. xanthan gum
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/3 c. lukewarm water
• 2 T. + 2 tsp veg or olive oil
• 1 T. honey

Mix the flours, starch, yeast, salt, and xanthan gum REALLY (no, really) well in the bowl of your stand mixer. I am generally against sifting, so I used a whisk to mix things up thoroughly. You could also use the whisk attachment of your mixer. Now place the dough hook on your mixer and proceed.

In a separate, small bowl, break up the eggs a bit with a whisk or fork.

In yet another bowl or largish measuring cup, combine the warm water, oil, and honey.

Pour the eggs into the flour mixture and mix a few seconds. With the mixer on low, slowly add the water/oil mixture until completely emptied.

What’s left in your mixer will slosh around for a few minutes and generally look like a big, sloppy mess. Keep it up.

Depending on your local humidity and altitude, and the questionable accuracy of this, my first gluten-free baking recipe, your dough (like mine) might be a bit soft. This is to be expected, really, as GF doughs tend to come out more like batters. Don’t freak.

The sticky dough of my gluten-free naan.

Cover your dough and let it rise in a warm place for an hour or two. I have a warming drawer now, but I used to just run my dryer for a few minutes and then place the bowl inside. Instant proof box!

Now, to form our naan: If you have a Silpat, now is the time to bust it out. This stuff is sticky. Sprinkle on a fair amount of rice flour, a little more if your dough is intolerably wet and sticky. Pinch off a golf-ball sized piece of dough and place it on top of your heavy dusting of flour. Sprinkle another heavy dusting of rice flour on the top, all over, so it won’t stick to your method of flattening.

Rolling out the GF naan.

This flattening method is variable, depending on what you’ve got to work with. My awesome hubs got me a Silpat rolling pin for Christmas, which was perfect for this. If your hubs isn’t as awesome as mine, you can pat down your naan using a sheet of plastic wrap or a cut storage bag. Either way, get it down to about a 1/8″ thickness.

Use a large spatula to loosen the dough and get it off the mat, then use the mat itself (or the spatula, if it’s holding together well) to transfer your naan to a waiting, hot skillet with some oil or butter inside. Oh, yeah. Get that ready first, will ya?

GF naan all cooked up on one side, and about to flip.

I browned the naan on one side, flipped, and browned on the other, and that was enough to cook it through. If yours is thick in spots or otherwise doesn’t seem to be cooking all the way, you can cover it and let it steam a bit.

The dough is quite forgiving if you tear it on the way to the skillet. I’m certainly not advocating that you actually reach your hands down in a hot skillet to press the dough back together, but I’m just saying, I may have done so, and it may have worked.

I scarfed this stuff down with some homemade rice-noodle soup that night, and it was glorious. Hope it works out for at least one or two of you, too.

We are supposed to practice making roses out of it, using the technique outlined in a video we watched in class. Although I can’t say my form is completely perfect, my second attempt (the first being at school) today was pretty darn okay.

Does that mean I can eat it? I. Love. Marzipan.

Here’s how I did it:

First, I rolled the marzipan into a 1″-thick or so log. I cut the following pieces with a sharp paring knife:

• One 1.5″ piece
• Two 1″ pieces
• Eight 3/4″ pieces

Each of these is rolled into a sphere, then into a cone shape. The first piece will be more conical than the others.

Using a plastic dough scraper/bench knife, you gently squash the cone into a flat, large oval, which will be thicker and wider on the fat end of the cone. Hopefully.

The guy in the video did this in two strokes, both at the same 45 degree or so angle across the cone. The first time, you leave some of the fat end untouched, and the second time you get the whole thing.

Okay, so my "bench knife" was a cheesy pasta measure thing that came in the mail. My real one is...somewhere.

Still a little lumpy. I later switched to a sturdier bench knife that left fewer ridges.

Next, I rolled the center of the rose with this largest piece, using the thick end toward the bottom. I used the extra at the bottom to squish out a base.

Next, I flattened the next two petals in similar fashion, gave them a little pleat in the side (see below) and stuck them tightly around the base.

My problem with my earlier attempt at school is that I let these drape widely, making the flower look too much like a pansy or something. Roses are more tightly wound in the middle.

Now I spread, pleated and placed the next three petals, from the remaining eight pieces.

Pleat all one layer's petals at once and lay them face down on the work surface until you're ready.

Now, just the remaining five pieces await. These will stick on a little differently, so stay frosty.

Since these final petals will be visible from the outside, you’ll want to make sure each one tucks underneath the one before it. You know, to look all natural and junk. So before you completely press down one side, hold it open and position the next petal.

Aaaaand….voila. The finished rose. Like I said, I had some dumb luck this time, and it took a little pre-fiddling at class to get the idea. It’s worth giving it a try. You can purchase marzipan by the bucket at cake supply stores and online.

Besides, they’re delicious, whether they turn out pretty or not. So are the scraps.

I’m just saying.

Too bad I can’t eat it. Oh well. The hubs and kids will feast after dinner tonight.

Last night was our second lab in Cakes and Cake Decorating Class, and the first time we really got to go at it on a cake. So incredibly fun!

I didn’t get as much time as I would have liked to decorate, since we took so long learning the ropes of splitting and filling cakes and making Swiss buttercream frosting. It is a little wonky in places, and I had to use someone else’s vivid green rather than my own pastel just because I ran out of time to bag it up. But not too shabby for a first try.

Swiss buttercream, by the way, is so incredibly delicious, I think I’ll never make the regular kind again. It’s shiny and not too sweet. You get…well…heck. I’ll just show you the ingredient list that Chef J wrote on the board:

__________________________

Swiss Buttercream 

Ingredients for Swiss buttercream

Place the egg whites and sugar in the mixer bowl over a pan of simmering water, and stir until the sugar is melted and the whole thing is just a little gooey, about 140 degrees. Then place this into your mixer with the whip attachment and kick it up to high for a while.

Conveniently, you don’t have to worry about overbeating, because the sugar acts as a stabilizer.

Once the mixture is well beaten, shiny and fluffy, check the temperature, which needs to come down closer to room temp before adding the butter. Usually the action of the mixer will do this, but some mixers add heat. If this happens, just place the mixer bowl into a bowl of ice for a minute or two and return your goo to the machine.

Now turn the mixer back on and add the butter, a room-temp chunk at a time (no need to be too pretty about cutting it up), while the mixer whips it together. Add the vanilla.

If you want to add chocolate, melt about 8 ounces of white chocolate or 12 ounces of semi-sweet, and let it cool slightly, then add. If you want to have some colors as well as chocolate, you can split up the batch and mix in the chocolate and the color bases separately, by hand.

__________________________

I want to walk you through everything else we did recipe-style, but it will take for-eh-vah. I’ll just regale you with photos of each step so you can be jealous that I actually get a grade for this sort of activity.

Meanwhile, I’ve found a recipe for a gluten-free poundcake, which I think I’ll use for our next project.

Stay tuned.

__________________________

Awfully pretty, isn't it? Too bad it had some fatal errors...

Making cheese, I don’t think it too scandalous to say, is a bit of a glimpse into the mind of God. Or witchcraft, I guess, depending on whose side you take. (Vegans, make your joke here.)

You start with such a completely plain, innocuous substance as milk, throw some other stuff at it, wave your hands in a prescribed motion, and, poof, you have cheese.

Okay, so it’s not quite that simplistic. But it is quite amazing.

In Garde Manger class, we’ve spent a handful of weeks on fresh (unaged) cheeses, because they’re quick, useful, and a good starting point for learning the ropes.

I showed you earlier our fresh lemon cheese, which is somewhere between ricotta and cream cheese in consistency. It was amazingly delicious and made a lovely filling for the sweet applications we used that day.

The next week, I was awfully sick with one of those might-as-well-be-the-flu-but-it’s-not sort of things. I went to class and powered through the lecture, but the chef knew better than to put my snotty, contagious self in the kitchen. I guess since I bothered to show up, she felt sorry for me and let me take some lab work home.

The project: Mozzarella.

I remember passing through the kitchen once last year when this class was doing this same project. Nibbly bliss!

Here’s the process, for those wishing to try at home. It’s awfully fun:

Bocconcini (Mozzarella balls)
(Adapted from Garde Manger: The Art and Craft of the Cold Kitchen by Culinary Institute of America)

• 5 1/2 oz. salt
• 1 gallon water
• 2 lbs. cheese curd, cut into 1/2″ cubes

Right off the bat, I know you’re asking yourself, where in the world do I buy cheese curd?

Cheese curds courtesy of Ben E. Keith and Pulaski Tech.

Honestly, we were just given the curds, purchased from Ben E. Keith (a restaurant/foodservice supplier), to save time. But the awesome folks over at Fermentables, who offer supplies to make beer, wine and cheese at home, sell an inexpensive cheesemaking kit with the goods (rennet, for example) to make your own. Easy peasy.

But I’m leaving it to you to read those instructions on the package.

Properly diced cheese curds.

Add salt to your water, and bring it to 160 degrees. Then take the pot off the heat.

And here’s where I made a BIG ol’ mess.

The instructions in our book say to put the curds in a colander and lower it into the water so the cheese is covered. Thinking myself clever, I used a wire colander. Not so smart. Let’s just say that half the cheese stayed with the device, which had to go in the trash.

See that wire colander? I miss it.

Then I dumped the curds directly in the water. We were instructed to use chopsticks to pull the cheese into the smooth strings that make this cheese what it is. Turns out I overcooked my curds, and I ended up with something more like rubber bands than delicious cheese.

I carried on anyway, laying the stretched curds out into a long log atop some plastic wrap. This is supposed to be only 1 inch in diameter, but since they were so rubbery, mine were about 1 1/2″ or 2″. Oh well.

Twist the ends of the plastic wrap so the entire log is wrapped well, then get out some thin twine or, as I used, dental floss. You’d probably be better off to not use mint flavored, though. Cut 5″ pieces and tie off the log into uniform spheres. The curd strands will have enough pressure now to form solid balls.

Put your strand of cheesy pearl goodness into a large bowl and place it in the fridge for a few hours, or overnight. Unwrap, cut between the balls if necessary, and enjoy.

Honesty time: Mine wasn’t that great. It was a little too much the consistency of one of those hi-bounce balls you get in a grocery store vending machine. But other than that, it was fantastic. :/

If they’d turned out better, they would have done well in my marinade, the juices from some spicy roasted grapes (you read that right) I made the same evening. That would have all come together into something fab, even if I don’t know just what.

Despite my difficulties, the process was actually pretty fun. As with most cooking experiences, you may have to screw it up at least once before you can make it really fantastic. I’ll definitely do it again.

I’ve decided to cook personally for the 500th person who email subscribes to this blog. Just type in your email addy and click the button under “Email Foodie Alerts,” minion.  And just to keep the quick-starters motivated, I’ll also choose one randomly from the earlier numbers.

Also, as indicated on the Twitters, I’ll have to have control of the details. If you live in another state, well, you’ll have to settle for something I can ship to you. If you only eat raw unicorn spleens, then you may want to go elsewhere. And if you’re a stalker wanting to kill me and eat my flesh for the meal, please, don’t. I’m awfully bitter.

I will come to your reasonably nearby home, or a place of business, within the state of Arkansas. And I can cater to special needs such as allergies, gluten intolerance, and a kryptonite-like reaction to bananas. Believe me, I can relate.

So, join on, foodies. There are big things to come, currently in the works, and you want them in your inbox.

My 9-year-old has gained an appreciation for sushi, so I added it to this week’s semi-vegetarian menu. I decided it was time for her to try making something entirely on her own, so once I had made two rolls, she got to do some all by herself. She did great.

Big Kid sushi, coming to a plate near you! Or, at least, near me.

This recipe is particularly useful as a last-minute choice, given you’ve stockpiled some sticky rice and nori, because you can use just about anything in your veggie drawer. I planned ahead and bought cream cheese, but you could use tofu (as a vegan option, thx Jeff Hicks) or leave it out altogether.

Veggie Sushi

• Sushi Rice (see recipe below)
• 3-4 sheets nori (sushi-making seaweed paper)
• 1 carrot, peeled and cut into thin sticks, about 1/8″ square and 4″ long
• 1 roasted red bell pepper, cut into thin strips (Buy jarred or do it yourself)
• 1/4 cucumber, cut into thin strips
• 2 oz. cream cheese or extra firm tofu, cut similarly to above
• Sesame seeds, toasted or not, optional

You could spend all day freaking out about technique on this one. Or, you can do like we did and just wing it based on what you think you may or may not have seen before. Either way, it will taste pretty good, even if it’s not as pretty as what you bought at the sushi joint in town.

I’ve found that breaking the full-size nori sheets in half makes a prettier roll, at least for beginners like me. Wrap your bamboo rolling mat with plastic wrap and place the half-sheet on top, near the edge closest to you.

Oh, yeah, the water. Keep a small bowl of water near your work area, or you will be, as they say in Japan, sorry.

Wet your hands and get some of your finished sushi rice, then carefully spread it in a thin layer across your nori. I say carefully because it will generally STAY where you put it. If you want your rolls to be nori-side out, leave about a half-inch uncovered across the top for a seal. (If you prefer rice-side out, this isn’t necessary. Now’s the time to flip the whole thing over on your mat. Not you, nori-side-out people.)

This was our first roll of the night, with a sprinkle of bonito (dried fish) flakes. Meh. Also found it easier to place the cream cheese first.

About halfway down, lay down a solid line of your cream cheese or tofu. On top of this, start laying down your slices of veggies. Less is more, as too much will make the roll impossible to, well, roll. I use about four pieces of each item, slightly overlapped.

And now, the rolling. Don’t freak.

Okay, so Big Kid rolled hers from the top. No big deal.

Wet your fingertips and dampen the upper edge of the nori to act as a seal. Using the bamboo mat underneath, roll up your, er, roll, snugly but not with too much force. When the mat reaches all the way around, be sure to move it outward and not roll it up with your sushi! Oh, heck, just watch a video somewhere and see.

Once you’ve rolled it all the way, use the mat to give the roll a firm hug. It’s about to be your best friend! Unroll and move it to a cutting board.

With a VERY sharp, dampened knife, cut the roll exactly in half. Put the two halves against each other and do it again, so you have four equal pieces. Dampen and cut again with sets of two until you have eight equal pieces.

Serve proudly with soy sauce (use tamari if you’re gluten free) and chopsticks.

Sushi Rice

• 2 cups sticky rice (also called sushi rice)
• 2 cups cold water
• 2-3 T. rice wine vinegar (I like mine more tart)
• 1 T. rice wine (mirin), optional
• 1 T. sugar
• 1 T. kosher salt

You can find sushi rice in larger grocery stores in the Asian foods area, or at Asian specialty stores. In the Little Rock area, you can’t go wrong with Sam’s Oriental on University. Just don’t use regular rice, or you will be sorely disappointed!

Check the bag of rice to see if your variety requires rinsing, as many newer ones don’t. Unless it says not to, you’ll need to rinse it in a wire colander under cold water until the water runs clear. Place the rice and the 2 cups water in a rice cooker, or in a medium saucepan brought to a boil, then a low simmer and covered until done (check your bag for cooking times, but should be about 15 minutes).

While the rice cooks, place the vinegar, rice wine (if using), sugar and kosher salt in a small saucepan and place over medium-low heat. If you’re using the rice wine, cook until it simmers just a bit to cook off most of the alcohol. Otherwise, all you need is enough heat to melt the salt and sugar into the vinegar.

When the rice is fully cooked, spread it out on a sheet pan. Sprinkle the vinegar mixture over the rice, occasionally “cutting” the rice with a butter knife or spatula to mix it in without damaging the grains. Allow the rice to cool completely on the pan. (If you want go all traditional or if you’re in a hurry, you can use a folding fan to help the cooling process along, a fun task for the kids.)

Bonus Recipe for Ghetto-Fab Fried Rice: Scramble and fry an egg, remove from pan and chop it into tiny bits. (Or finely dice some tofu, season with tamari and sauté.) Cut your leftover veggie strips into tiny cubes and sauté in a tiny bit of sesame oil or broth. Add your leftover sushi rice, the egg, and some soy sauce or tamari. Stir. If you can be bothered, add some sliced green onion. Delish.

I specify “as a student,” because I would love to come back as a graduate assistant, or whatever iteration that becomes in the new facility. This school has become a part of me, both reflecting my passions and giving me the means to carry them to others.

I only needed two more classes to graduate: American Regional Cuisine and an elective of my choosing (I chose Cakes and Cake Decorating, mainly because I didn’t get to take as many baking courses as I would have liked). Also, these classes are both at night, which is gonna save me bazillions in childcare this semester.

I’m still not entirely sure what I’m gonna do when I “grow up,” but writing, teaching and cooking will always be a part of it. Some opportunities have drifted up here and there. This is just as I un-planned it; the more I tried to make concrete plans, the more it looked like what other folks would want/expect me to do with a degree in culinary arts. Those plans were expensive, too, usually involving some sort of storefront, staff and other junk I don’t really don’t want to deal with, at least not right now.

So.

For one last semester, I put on the white jacket and black pants, PTC/ACS black baseball cap (yecch) and skid-proof black shoes.

I feel just a little like I did at the end of high school or college (the first time). The future is bright, full of opportunity. And this time, I’m just old enough, just young enough, just experienced-in-life enough to make something really cool happen.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE: Okay, already…I know good and well that several email subscribers to this blog are instructors and students. So why didn’t anyone tell me that I had the start date wrong? HA! I must have written the late registration date down. Or something.

I seriously ironed my coat, got a sitter, and went to school today, only to find that it doesn’t start until NEXT WEEK. Geesh. I started to delete this, but no. Go ahead and laugh at with me. 

But, there is indeed some usefulness in the exercise. I’m about to finish my degree in culinary arts from Pulaski Technical College Arkansas Culinary School, and the time is right to lay out some plans, or at least some intentions.

So here goes.

Resolution #1: Get friggin’ healthy, once and for all. Even after cutting out gluten and reaping the benefits in reduced muscle pain and fatigue, other stuff has cropped up. Last doctor visit, my thyroid and liver were out of whack, and I feel like total crap. New meds just have me feeling worse.

This week, I’m taking my bod hostage and it’s gonna listen. Healthy meal plans (including shopping lists and scheduled time to cook) and a little bit of exercise — I seriously have no capacity for more — start now. I’m going to study Chinese and Indian medicine, especially their use of food. And tomorrow, I’m calling the fabulous acupuncturist I used to see years ago, who can cut through all the rigamarole of Western medicine that has left me hanging.

All that being said:

Resolution #2: Talk less about my health. If I haven’t lost you already: Talking about one’s own health is boring, and it’s rude to those who have it worse. I think the reason I do it is just to let people know why I missed school/church/that lunch date/big event/whatever, or why I don’t commit myself to much these days. But I do plan to share stories with you about food and how it relates to health.

Resolution #3: Teach. I adore helping other people learn how to cook for themselves, whether that is here on the blog or in person. Over the past year or two, I’ve had the opportunity to teach groups of children, moms on a weekend retreat, and many individuals. I hope to add group lessons in my own home, and maybe eventually in my own facility.

I also want to get involved teaching in programs like Cooking Matters, which is just getting started in Arkansas. Turns out that two of my chef instructors at school are involved already. I don’t have the cred that they do, but I would love to get there.

Resolution #4: Learn. I still have two more classes at Pulaski Technical College Arkansas Culinary School (American Regional Cuisine and, for fun, Cake Decorating), so obviously I’ll learn plenty there this year. But I plan to do my own schooling, too.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve never worked in the foodservice industry, other than on my own. I still have stuff to learn from others. But rather than get a long-term job somewhere, I plan to “stage” (pronounced stahzj) several different places. I might even just take you along. Stay tuned for all that.

Resolution #5: Be open to opportunity, and be wise in choosing. As I’ve come closer to my graduation, I’ve had all kinds of plans in mind, mostly pretty elaborate, expensive ones. A few months back, though, I decided to hang back and see what comes up, mainly to commit to a great year with my son before he starts kindergarten.

This has been a good policy, because several things have come up. Now, I’ll just have to choose and balance them wisely, keeping both my family and you, dear foodie reader, in mind.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.